台湾~！我来了~！

再多五个小时，我就要去机场了。。
本来说我在用‘不道德’的方式拿了我的假期。。
但现在也不算了。。因为我真的生病了~！
只希望它不会变得太严重。。
=（
因为台湾现在很冷~！

虽然生病了。。但我还是很兴奋。。
我要自己去到高雄才可以会到我的朋友~！
可能大家会觉得我很无聊。。只不过是自行坐飞机而已。。
可是这是我生平的第一次喔~
谁知道有哪一天我还真的自己背包旅行去了~！
那时候的我，可真的要被叫做‘MAN'了～！

哈哈～

好了大家～！
我们五号再见了～！
祝贺大家～新年快乐～！
希望我们在下一个年会过得更好，更精彩，更快乐～
加油喔～大家～！
=)

P/S:可能我找得到那间禁止韩国人的火锅店～！
哈哈～

3 more days~!

3 more days~! and I will be flying off to Taiwan!

Feeling: excited, guilty and messy~!

Excited: Coz this is my first time taking plane and travelling up to kaoshiung to find my grp of friends all by myself~! I am soooo looking forward to it~! Travelling alone has been a dream to me...thou now onli able to satisfy about..hmm 1/10 of the journey..I kinda happy about it as it is a good start , isn't it?

Guilty: Coz...I am 'taking' leave in an 'unethical' way? Thou some ppl might think it is alright , while some ppl might think it is a super no no way~! (I know miss zhuo must be thinking in this way..) LOL...but either ways...I am feeling kinda remorseful now...Dunno why...Just feel this is not me...not especially when doing those kind of things in such an irresposible way? But it seems nothing i can do now...

All I can say now is....SORRY...对不起~！

Messy: Coz right now, I am staring a mountain of clothes (which is my 战利品 from Hongkong, Shengzhen)..and dunno how to deal with them...LOL..BUT I really want to revamp my room especially after seeing Miss Zhuo's room...think not only me bahz...think most of the ppl will feel 'oh my..think is time to do something to my room' when they enter into her room bahz..LOL..
so i decided to start packing my wardrobe...but sighz....i am stuck~ hahah..ends up i am blogging with a mountain of clothes beside me.. think will donate some to IMH and Kwong Ming Shan...

Anyway, I have wonderful days during these christmas time~!

Went to Ming Fei's house on Christmas eve, played Wii and Bingo..wee Won the bingo once..thou not much but it can last me to play the whole night..LOL...nice game...I am considering to get it so Chinese New Year , my family and I can play new game instead of pokers, 21, or MJ.,..LOL

Christmas day went to Malaysia and tour around east side with Miss Zhuo and Avartar BF , and their group of friends...Cool..My first time taking boat to Malaysia..LOL (Usually i just took the bus to city square nia.). went there for seafood..YummY...as it is cheap an d fresh ..but ..overall, so-so only..the chilli crab really really cannot make it.... It looks nice...but taste..hmm sweet? LOL weird right? Too bad , we never bring cameras out~ if not can take picture..to prove “ '食物’不可貌相，海水不可斗量~!" hahhahahaha..

Overall, it is fun~! Thanks to all my sweet friends~!!! Thanks for organising these~! Muackz~

Updates..

28th NOv 2009

Maritchie walk to Treetop.

Dated by Shuli for the walk, brought Hua and Jia along...I was late~! LOL..supposedly to meet them 650 at cck...but 650 i still at hm lol..

Planned to walk from Maritchie Reservoir to the Treetop , however due to this blur queen here, who has lost her way half way through ( Shuli was behind with her KMS group , Hua n Jia running ahead), we have decided to walk to Bukit Timah instead.

thru and fro roughly about 20km, 5 hrs walk...finished the journey with tiredness but i am so happy~! coz i finished the journey~! Next will be the canopy walk from Kent Ridge to Mount Faber thru HortPark ~!

29th Nov 2009

Meet Irene they all at Bouna Vista , 730am for breakfast.

After the breakfast, we took bus to Kent Ridge..and here we would be starting our journey~!

And there is a canon welcoming us ..with our '大炮仙‘

After a short walk we reached hortpark~! Nice place with lots of themes, butterfly garden,wizard of oz~ and I keep playing with dogs~!

Wizard of Oz..

Took many photos but my fav is this~which i feel is the most interesting..

沉默的猴子。。

Haha...after hortpark , we crossed the metal bridge and the wooden bridge, walk down to mount faber, and that's the end of the journey.

Overall, the journey is short and eaSy to complete when comparing to the route from maritchie to bukit timah...LOL..but still worth going~!Coz it has nice scenery
!

After weekend, back to my routine, work, hm , sleep or work, meet friends , home and sleep..

and last weekend...5th and 6th Dec 2009, which is the most 'painful' period for my pocket~!

Weddings back to back~! Sat and Sun respectively ~!

'Painful' but so happy for my friends~!

COnGrats~! Edmond and Kerri~! Quick go n get the baby bonus~!!!! lol...

早生贵子~！永结同心~！

CHeers~!!

ok...another start of week again...work, home , sleep/ work , go out, home n sleep...

zzz~!

I shouldn't..

not sure how to write or input...sighz..

feeling unwell..feel like getting mc...

yawnz..

I want to get this~!!!!!

I want to get a camera from here~!! -http://www.lomographyasia.com/home/

hahah..it has become one of my wish list...hope i can get it soon~!

Diana F+ Colette Edition!

Diana F+ Hong Meow Edition~

Hmm...which should i get...but the most important is i like the effect so much...but one main problem...how does it put those photo online? hmmmmmm....

Photo taken using Diana F+ Colette~!

Oh my gosh..I want to play with camera~!!!

我又乱发脾气了~！

不知道是不是PMS。。

吃晚饭了后。。

就觉得心里闷闷的。。

而也这样我就开始讲话有点大声了。。

头头我并没有生气。。

但因我音量太大声了。。

每个人以为我在发脾气。。

而且他们觉得我是在乱发脾气～！！！

结果我还真的发了～！！！

我还真的无理取闹～！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

结果是。。。

我反而在生我自己的气。。。。

=(

气冲冲的一天。。

有时候觉得为什么我的朋友每当我发脾气的时候。。
都回觉得我很怪，很像我不可以有脾气似的。。
而他们却有资格生气~！
=(

The dream is so nice...

the dream was nice, beautiful, and blissful...

but it is no longer belong to me...

I dun dare to expect too much as it really was a dream to me...

My Favourite song...

Recently ..I fall in love with MJ's songs...hahha...and now then i realise one of my favourite song is sang from him~!



Heal The World

the meaning of my name 'Esther'

Possibly means "star" in Persian. Alternatively it could be a derivative of the name of the Near Eastern goddess ISHTAR. The Book of Esther in the Old Testament tells the story of Queen Esther, the Jewish wife of the king of Persia who saved the Jews of the realm from extermination. Her original Hebrew name was Hadassah.
This name has been used in the English-speaking world since the Protestant Reformation. In America it received a boost in popularity after the birth of Esther Cleveland (1893-1980), the daughter of president Grover Cleveland.


interesting..coz in the first place i feel like changing my name...
and this makes me feel reluctant of doing that now..
hmmz...

This song has represent my feeling...

放手是很痛苦，但我们都知道现在，这是最好的结局。。

Self-pity is an excuse to do nothing.

jus like what am i doing..

where I should working hard..

I am facebook-ing, twittering, msning, surfing net, read newspaper and now blogging...

instead of checking datelines, sending email, go ask for signature...

self pity myself as a temp staff..as having not enough rest after my last paper...

so I am doing what I'm not suppose to do now..

excuses..

coz i jus plainly lazy...

looking at people wealth will only look down on myself..

y should i bother so much about how people look at me ?

shouldn't i making use of what I am having now and turn it to a way in my life as what i wanted?

one reason...

coz i'm jus a human but not a saint..

a saint is a human once too...

and here i go again...

self-pitying myself...

by giving myself too much excuses to do nothing whereby i should push myself further in order to succeed..

so how am i going to succeed in what am i doing in this way?

everyone can look down on me, but I can't look down on myself..

that's how i reminding myself nowadays...

原来。。

原来让自己深爱的人讨厌。。是这么痛。。。

suddenly..

suddenly...i feel like msging you..

'hi , how are you?'

feel like asking,

'hi, can i know are you still loving me?'


emoing..at the wrong time...

really missing you...aren't you?

dreamt of you...dreamt that you are happier now...

purposely come to me and tell me you are happy now..

strangely...i dun really feel sad..in fact i feel relieve and happy for you...

=)

aRGHHHZZZ...

anyone has coastal sand?????

please..let me win abit of money~!!!

lol...

so boring...

my friend recently keep telling me about complicated person and simple person...

I asked her..how complicated is complicated..

how simple is simple?

she just respond me..complicated just cant match with simple people...

hmm...

to me..sometime...people looks simple..doesnt mean they really simple...

when people look complicated doesnt mean they are one...

but i agree with her..

simple really have to match with simple people....

but can anyone tell me...

how to identify them by one look?

lol

The most accurate astrology about characters of sagittarius woman i ever seen...

A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may make you feeling like running away from her. Then, suddenly, she will say something so charming that you will feel as if you are on the seventh heaven. There, you go again! You will be trapped in her charm once more. Once you have been enamored by a Sagittarius girl, you will be staying with her for a long time. She is pleasant, friendly, outspoken and very talkative. Her forthrightness comes form the fact that she has no illusions about the world.

She sees it exactly as it is and says what she sees. At times, you may wish that she were not so honest. But then, she would be like any other girl, wouldn't she? In all probability, you will not like it. A Sagittarian female is very optimistic, but she is not irrational. She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, when you become rude to her or offend her, she may become like the fire-spitting dragon.

Sagittarius women are quite independent and love their freedom. They are attached to their family, but not too much. If you want to get something done from a Sagittarian female, just ask her; don't order. She will never ever do it. She is your better half and don't you dare forget that. On the other hand, she doesn't want a sissy for a husband or boyfriend. He has to be a real man, who has his ego and won't stand for nonsense. So, you will be expected to balance politeness with firmness.

I know it's difficult - but then, since when was winning someone easy. With a Sagittarius girl, you will never have to guess. She says what she thinks and how she acts shows what she feels. This bluntness may cost her heavily at times, even to the point of ending the relationship. Still, she would act as if she's not hurt at all and it is just one of the many harmless flirtations she's had. People will even believe all this, while inside she will be weeping and nursing her wounds. All this time, she will be analyzing what went wrong and when.

The word 'marriage' makes a Sagittarian female a little nervous and you will need to tempt her in order to make her settle down. She is a little hard to catch and tends to be one of the boys all the time. That doesn't mean she looks or acts like a man! Infact, she is as female as any other girl is. The society and its norms do not matter to her. She can never be the hypocrite that some people are and tend to wiggle a few tongues. Her honesty and brusqueness further add to the negative opinions.

Don't be fooled by them. Look deep inside a Sagittarius female and you will find a woman who is so enthusiastic about life and who trusts easily. Infact, this extreme belief makes her heart vulnerable and defenseless. It gets broken too often, but then, she knows how to move on with life. You will be tempted to care for her. It's natural. There are hardly any people who can resist the bright and charming disposition of a Sagittarius girl. She will not be too good with money and will most probably be on the extravagant side.

She is very sentimental and emotional, though it seems otherwise. It just that, where her feelings are concerned, she becomes too shy. After marriage, your house will always remain sparkling clean, even if you don't have a maid to do that. She cannot stand sloppiness, it doesn't appeal to her sensibilities. She may not be too good at cooking, but she will also not burn your egg every day. A Sagittarian girl may pass the most sarcastic comments when she is angry, but she will forget the resentment soon enough. Then, she won't understand why are you so upset.

As a mother, she will be very friendly with the kids. Infact, she will be more of a chum, than a mom. Only, you will have to teach them to take her bluntness with a pinch of salt. Apart from that, she will be wonderful and make them as independent as she is. She will be a lovely hostess to guests and make them feel at home. Just let her be what she is. Don't try to change her and don't curb her individuality. She will brighten your life with her optimism, boost you with loyalty, trust you blindly and shower her affection on you. She will encourage you to see dreams and help you in making them come true!

http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/sun-signs/sagittarius/woman.html#at

One down..

Finally exam started..One paper down...Verdict: Bad....think i will flunk the paper...

sad...

went to watch a sad movie.."My sister's keeper"

verdict: not very nice as compare to the book as all the twist kinda different..reading the book really can bring you into the sister's world...but the movie, it jus cant.... But I cried when I saw she passing the present to mom and ask her to be strong....overall...still have touching part at least...

sighz...bad day as met a bad taxi driver when travelling from cck to ps...spend 30.20 bucks (actual fare: 30.10) on it...=,= and the stupid uncle purposely drive slowly and keep detouring~!!!! FML

something meaningful at least ..

If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it is yours. If you hang on to the status quo or to a person because you fear being alone again, you may not realise you are already isolated or backed up against a wall with no way out except to change immediately. Are you restricting yourself or using your once-treasure tokens to construct an empty shell that may no longer offer luxury, security or comfort? Money can't buy happiness and you can't take it with you when you go. With the proper incentive,you can bargain you way out of the relationship dog house if you let go of some of your stubborn pride and accept the consequences.

btw i learnt something today..that is learn how to keep quiet when no comment.

oh no...

it seems like i cant remember anything...

shit....

but..

yet also not really...

sighz..

praying hard for the paper later...

boo hoo..

is my trip going to be postponed~!!!!!!!??????

wish me luck for tomorrow paper~!

I thought..

I thought I have really let go of everything..

I thought when i tot about you ...I will be smiling..

I thought I am brave enough to face you...

I thought I won't bother about why and how thing become in this way..

I thought I won't cry anymore...

but apparently, I am wrong...

I am such a skeptical person...full of doubts..

sometimes I feel you still love me..

but once I remembered what I have seen and feel after or even before what has happen between us..

I guess...actually...I have already lost my position in your heart long time ago bahz..

now everytime I heard the roaring of the plane flying across of the sky...

I will start thinking of you..

How is your work?

Did your boss treat you better?

Are you feeling better now?

Dumb me....and now i have to keep forcing myself to stop all these..

stop msging you or even msning.. coz guess you will feel irritating bahz..

and now i even start to think that...I don't think i will be able to face you if i will be seeing you again..

my heart is aching when i imagine the image of you holding another person...

and I start to think...

why i still thinking in this way? Aren't I supppose to feel happy for you?

where has my courage in the past gone to? Why am i becoming timid as I aged....

sighz..

guess this is only one side thinking bahz...guess you won't be missing me at all bahz...

exam time..

is exam time again...

how i wish i now at home, mugging...

but cant..today my shi fu officially on maternity leave...

and i cant anyhow take leave anymore...sad...

anyway i have strong craving for strawberry milk these days...

haha...dun ask me why...but is always like this..

i will crave for that when i stress up bahz...

sighz...i hope i can graduate by next year...

Jia You Esther~!!!

trying to force myself to stop thinking of other stuffs....BLEAHZ =P

就让这首歌。。

今夜一直重复我们都没错
只是看清楚原来不懂的事没有什么好说
现在先不要说就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱爱情的终点
回忆一触即发如何忍住眼泪
不让她哭唏哩哗啦触景生情这样好吗
从今以后各走各的路
身上留过你的沓图怎么可能不在乎
不怪现在只怪当初谁辜负了谁糊涂
清醒了没越是卖醉却不醉绕了一圈圈
越想念谁吃定了谁电影散场了没
又怎么会虎头蛇尾看你哭红又肿的双眼一把眼泪一把鼻涕
从喜剧变成默剧怎么继续
只好放着这首歌
她一直repeat
曾经你是我的人
我们爱这么过瘾就像生命共同体
如今却只能写下这回忆
电影散场之后你是否留下了什么
一切不难再重头那感伤对画面说这决定变得轻松
夜深人静心回痛有首歌它一直 repeat repeat
是为了什么是分手的时候就让我们自由
回忆一幕幕就像一场电影
原来一直感动电影终要结束
结束难免痛苦心中留下伤痕
就让这首歌萦绕在耳边
我尝试刻画着每一次曾经快乐的每一日
这首歌要播几次有太多的舍不得事
歌词像针在刺旋律让眼眶湿曾几何时开始静止
打不开的画夹从你哝我哝的梦到现在你懂我懂的沉默
所有的痛就让时间来破电影散场之后
就在那回首处你别走回头路
我只能头也不回地藏住感触
少了骗人的拼图怎么拼得出那版图
我真心为你祝福
有没有那么一首歌会让你很想念
有没有那么一首歌你会假装听不见听了
又掉眼泪却按不下停止键多少的夜
就这样开着灯到另一个夜
我们之间有多少故事在这首歌的里面人
不在就让这首歌在回忆
也还在就让这一首歌今夜一直重复
我们都没错只是看清楚原来不懂的事哦
没有什么好说现在先不要说就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱爱情的终点
是分手的时候就让我们自由
回忆一幕幕就像一场电影原来一直感动电影终要结束
结束难免痛苦心中留下伤痕
就让这首歌萦绕在耳边

人生。。

人生像巴士的路程。。


而我们是司机。。

在不同的人生阶段就像是不同的巴士站。。

在不同的巴士站上车的人都是我们的有缘人。。

而这些人也就在此进入我们的人生。。

缘分是一个很奇妙的东西。。

有的只是短暂的。。

就像一年，两年。。。

有的是比较长。。

像是十年。。

而有的是永远永远。。

像是我们和我们的父母的缘分。。

某些的有缘人已下车了就不会回头了。。

而有的如果再有缘的话。。

我们要这样逃也逃不了。。。

缘分真的一个很难拿捏也搞不懂的东西啊。。

而我们的缘分是怎样的呢？

FML

Today, my friend show me this webbie..
http://www.fmylife.com


It is funny and real...

I decided...

I deleted...the msg you have sent..
I deleted your extra contact no...

I decided to really let go...coz letting you go is equal letting myself go too.. but does not mean i dun treasure the relationship with you or you....

whatever over is over..

the theory is as simple as this,

you are too complicated for me,
while I too simple for you..

and I not going to keep protruding into your life...
and if you happen to be with someone else..
I will happy for you...


be true to yourself and find the one that you really love...

sometimes 'can' or 'cannot' answer is more than enough, not need to seek for further reasoning or further explaination....

struggling..

I am struggling..between knowing the truth and make myself more hurt..

or I should just let it be....as I know it is pointless..and it only just clearing my doubts and make me totally give up...but somehow i knew...even i dunno the truth..I also will give up...

so how?

sighz......

deepest thought..

hmm..after read my post from the first..

feeling: Oh my gosh, I have been too emo...

haha..but how am i not able to...when things happen in too sudden..

but today onwards...I want to slap myself awake~!

Halo esther~!

This is not the end of the world..

look beside you, look at the news recently..look at all the casualties happening nowadays...

do u think you are worst than them?

Answer: NO~!

so I have decided to brace myself up..

so what if i have make mistakes???

most importantly is i learn from it...

some people might not understand why am i doing this and that..

but i have my own reasons..

sometimes things are not able to explain as clear as it can...

and sometimes i dun feel that i owe any explanation...

but i will say the truth out if you asking...

people always tend to think i will act in this way and that way...

coz i'm simple..

i agreed..but you might be wrong in guessing my action...



coz i know what i want afterall...

and i'm human afterall...

human will change when there is impact in their life...

and think i am in that transformation process...

you can look down on me..

but i wont look down on myself...

I will just treat this a lesson and learn from it...

recognise own fault and learn is the most important...

mistakes is not the end of the world...is just a 'bomb' to show to you that is time to learn from it...

Just like how i recognise my mistakes and learn from it...

HABIT THAT I WANT TO GET RID OF~!!

STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH~!!!!!!!!!

so i wont be sounding like mitigate excuses~!!!!!!

well is for my own good~!

=)

and I must adapt...listen, think then talk~!
instead...listen and talk and think at the same time~!

take things slowly esther~@

not need to rush everything~!!!

2009 Horoscope.

You tend to attract just about everything you want this year through your warmth and magnetic Sagittarian That said, you may also go through some great transformational shifts in 2009 as you realize that your happiness no longer depends so much on possessions, but rather on the deeper meaning associated with things symbolic of love and sharing. Instead of controlling what’s happening around you, you now have experiences that perhaps you don't understand, but in allowing new insights to come in and have a voice, the rearranging of your resources and your values gives you a sense of security and growth.

it seems like quite accurate...

suddenly i remember...both of us went to shopping during chinese new year...and read the zodiac..

it says this year, rat tends to have conflict in their relationship. Communication is the main element for the couple.

and we still laughing at it..saying it wont happen between us...and we just simply ignore it..

really sometimes is not for us to decide whether to believe it or not...

wondering...

today , i went to temple..
and why...why i still feeling there is something unsettle between you and me?
wondering what wrong has you done....

missing you...

slept at 330am..
woke up at 630 pm...

nowadays i will woke up at this hour...
thinking of him..
thinking how is him?
is he tire...
what is he doing?
how he going to spend his day?
think till i feeling suffocate....

really feel like msg you that...

'have a safe trip, hope you enjoy...'

but stop myself...

coz think you might feel irritating....bahz....

爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔
是因为我太爱你

hope you will find your true love soon...

clever~!

I went to work this morning...

then i notice this guy in front of me..think is a poly student..

taking tennis racket to cover his head from the heavy rain..

i was wondering...how he cover with a racket where the racket has so many holes??????

hmmmmmmm

Sleepy eye dino~!

Bought this at the NIE flea...find it very cute~!

Esp the sleep eye~!..I like the Dino~!!!!..

好慢喔。。。

while waiting for my samsung phone's driver to install...

'Installation has begin. It may take several minutes.'

I want to sleep...-,-

Is the sky crying with me too?

sigh...y i being so emo?

why?

why i keep feeling that everything is my fault?

suddenly think of those problems we have..

actually most of the things can be control..

if i spoted early and solved..if i have not done this..it wont cause you to do this or feel this way bahz.....

but relationship needs two hands to clap...

when relationship breaks down...is usually both party's faults..

there's always a reason for why things happen in this way...

because of you i can change everything...but when i changed..think you will feel that's not me...

but think the main thing..is our love faded too fast in just 2 years...and i have been wondering why it so? but i think no one will know the answer bahz..

haiz...love is too complicated for me to understand ...is really painly not just about love, but alot of elements...

i shall take back my words which i wrote in the 2nd post....

love is sweet, painful and scary..

Sigh.....

2 years and 1 month

yesterday is our 2 years and 1 month...

I went to his house and pack all my stuffs..

I tot I wont be crying in front of him...

I tot I will be brave enough..

coz when packing...I am so cool....pack without making any noise...

but in the end i still cried..

cried when the mother ask me to take care..

cried when i was in the car when i saw his 'dunno what to say, what to do' face....

cried when we have our last hug..

jus wanna thank you for everything...

hope all the best to you...Wo zi xiang ni kuai le...

sleepy

Tried to sleep last night...

Bloody hell! Those construction people doing road downstair and is about 1 am~!!!

stupid sia~! Must be those foreign construction head's idea~

Halo! you have to work and not need to sleep..BUT PEOPLE WANT TO SLEEP...

Finally one hour later of tossing in bed..I fall asleep...

but...

WHAT THE HELL~!

My good brother woke up in 4 am in the morning to listen to songs...

and for your information, he FULL BLAST his songs~!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD....

I cant sleep and finally can't tolerate anymore...i shouted, "YOU DUN WANT TO SLEEP BUT I WANT!!!"

but eventually useless, coz my mom has a habit to tell me she is leaving to work at about 645am and I have to wake up at 715am to work...AND SO...I only managed to sleep for about 5 HOURS!!!!!

Oh my God....

My eyes are closing now...with this rainy weather....I feeling terribly sleepy......

YAWNZ...

ironic...

ironic..

when he around...i dun need his 'hello kitty' blanket...
when he is not around, i keep finding it and hug it to sleep every night...

remember he used to say, ' i need to fly around, so use this to represent me. So you won't feel lonely at night..'

feeling everything fall in too fast, in that morning , i still happily looking for location where we can go for holidays...wanted to msg him to ask about the plan...wanted to meet him to discuss...but decide not to msg him...scare disturb his work..

and evening, called him ..but my calls and request for meeting has stressed him up. A 'bomb' just dropped...

dun feel guilty bah...whatever will happen bound to happen....

is just that parts of me still cant really accept everything fall in that fast..when i still having hopes around bahz... and i also in wrong bahz...

verdict: I missing him..his msgs and accompanies....think my love really too heavy till i have becoming too selfish...sorry...i forget to feel for you and notice all the small changes...

I know some part of you feel that i dun trust you, you have hurt me...dun think this way bahz...coz in fact i really trust you but..just that myself lost the self-confidence and hoping you will give more sense of security....Hurting is just a process of the relationship so we will learn....

1st day?

1st day without him..tearing on and off...feeling kinda vexed..

I cried badly..in the office but lucky ...only left one colleague and me the whole day and think he tot i jus blowing my nose ( having flu for 2 months plus).

slowly in the evening feeling better...went to yishun and eat dinner with Irene they all. Past by Northpoint, suddenly having some flash back..but i manage to hold back my tears...

Dinner is great and cheap for the quality and the restaurant. $104 for 10 dishes. Cheap, right?
hee..thinking maybe next time can bring my parents to here and eat..=)

tears flows without warning again when i walked to my blk downstair...remember i received his msg in the evening replying my morning question. Think he just being friendly and out of courtesy, but i decided not to reply as i dunno how to...

check the common blog immediately after reach home..but no reply..thinking has he read it...thinking what he thinking now...

well...wake up, Esther~!

hmmz..anyway..today i have understand one thing...what is love? An english teacher once told that no body really knows what is love.. he thought that he knows what is love when he's going to marry his wife.. but till he was 40 plus, then he realised what is love...

think love has multi-definition...to me, is a thing ppl have to grow and learn about it..
love is when you know and understand and start to stand your partner's position and think for her or he, what, how and why she think in this way....or wanting a certain things...
and this is when you know how to commit fully bahz...and then, the relationship is able to maintain.

however sad to say this need mutual effect..one sided is not good...things will start to fall apart...
and sad to say not many ppl can stand this test of committment coz they will think for themselves at times...afterall , we are all human and most of the human are selfish..

think i admit i have been a selfish one ...but i tried and start to willing to commit...but too bad, by then, think it has become one sided...too late le bahz...

I once see somewhere said, love sometime need a guideline to follow and so, ppl will understand and know. But once a party break the guideline, everything seem to fall apart...

and that's happened...and human are emotional creature...they tend not to obey guidelines...hence this is where committment coming in...when the love between them are deep enough for them to understand that.

Esterification

Esterification is the general name for a chemical reaction in which two reactants (typically an alcohol and an acid) form an ester as thereaction product. Esters are common in organic chemistry and biological materials, and often have a characteristic pleasant, fruity odor. This leads to their extensive use in the fragrance and flavour industry.

Esterification is a reversible reaction. Hydrolysis—literally "water splitting"—involves adding water and a catalyst (commonly NaOH) to an ester to get the sodium salt of the carboxylic acid and alcohol. As a result of this reversibility, many esterification reactions are equilibrium reaction and therefore need to be driven to completion according to Le Chatelier's principle.

Esterifications are among the simplest and most often performed organic transformations. (wikipedia)


Above is the definition of Esterification. The main reason i choose this as my blog name is ester has the same pronounciation as my name , but of coz , i do not have the nice fruity smell....

And I feel that thou ppl said life is irreversible. True. Once, a person died, he or she can't revive.
However, i feel that the process in between or how you want to spend your life, it usually or at times are reversible. When a glamber, drug taker or even prisoner, has set their determination to mend their ways-their life reverse back to the normal or the way they used to be before they start to do anything that harm themselves - 2nd chance was given. When a couple break up or divorced, they are back to single again and this is vice versa..

and hence, this is why i choose esterification.

and today i decide to create a new blog...