1st day?

1st day without him..tearing on and off...feeling kinda vexed..

I cried badly..in the office but lucky ...only left one colleague and me the whole day and think he tot i jus blowing my nose ( having flu for 2 months plus).

slowly in the evening feeling better...went to yishun and eat dinner with Irene they all. Past by Northpoint, suddenly having some flash back..but i manage to hold back my tears...

Dinner is great and cheap for the quality and the restaurant. $104 for 10 dishes. Cheap, right?
hee..thinking maybe next time can bring my parents to here and eat..=)

tears flows without warning again when i walked to my blk downstair...remember i received his msg in the evening replying my morning question. Think he just being friendly and out of courtesy, but i decided not to reply as i dunno how to...

check the common blog immediately after reach home..but no reply..thinking has he read it...thinking what he thinking now...

well...wake up, Esther~!

hmmz..anyway..today i have understand one thing...what is love? An english teacher once told that no body really knows what is love.. he thought that he knows what is love when he's going to marry his wife.. but till he was 40 plus, then he realised what is love...

think love has multi-definition...to me, is a thing ppl have to grow and learn about it..
love is when you know and understand and start to stand your partner's position and think for her or he, what, how and why she think in this way....or wanting a certain things...
and this is when you know how to commit fully bahz...and then, the relationship is able to maintain.

however sad to say this need mutual effect..one sided is not good...things will start to fall apart...
and sad to say not many ppl can stand this test of committment coz they will think for themselves at times...afterall , we are all human and most of the human are selfish..

think i admit i have been a selfish one ...but i tried and start to willing to commit...but too bad, by then, think it has become one sided...too late le bahz...

I once see somewhere said, love sometime need a guideline to follow and so, ppl will understand and know. But once a party break the guideline, everything seem to fall apart...

and that's happened...and human are emotional creature...they tend not to obey guidelines...hence this is where committment coming in...when the love between them are deep enough for them to understand that.